Goodbyes

CLAP-- the program at work that has ruled my life for the last few weeks-- is finally over. I saw the last group off on Friday night, and since then, have been sleeping or reading, too exhausted to do much else. I think it went well (the workshop, at least), but don't ask me more about it just now because i am yet to absorb it all and still too fatigued to reflect!

Yesterday i said goodbye to one more friend who has just moved to South India because of some family and work issues. Now just one close friend remains in Delhi, everyone else has moved out. It's weird, realizing that. The last 18 months or so have been full of SO many goodbyes-- saying goodbye to my class at SUA, saying goodbye to all the amazing people and places i fell in love with in Mexico, saying goodbye to SUA and everyone there in December, saying goodbye to Mongolia after just those brief weeks, and then moving back home thinking that all those goodbyes were behind me only to find that, one by one, my close friends are all leaving Delhi for different reasons! It's weird, unsettling. Even though I am used to not seeing some of these people for lengths of time (thanks to my years away), it's strange to be in Delhi without them... Delhi feels incomplete. With each goodbye, I am more aware that the Delhi I left 5 years ago will never be here again. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it is.

That also makes me think about the last day of CLAP-- the goodbye day. These kdis had only been together for 3-4 days, but you would never have guessed that by the emotional outbursts at farewell time. One little girl, all of 11 years old, cried every time someone left to catch their train... given that she was in the last group to leave, that meant the poor thing broke down about 8 times that day! Watching her, watching them all, I wondered what these 4 days together would mean years from now... how would they look back? Given the way they are all from different parts of the country and may of them will possibly-- even probably-- never see one another again, what will this brief intersection of their life paths, or our life paths, mean? For many of the outstation particiapnts, this was their first time leaving their villages/ towns; for all the Delhi kids, this was the first time interacting with children from rural India. They started off polarized, but somewhere down the line they did become friends... they all hugged and kissed each other at goodbye time... what will these brief friendships mean years from now? Many of these kids have no internet access, won't be able to stay in touch as easily as I am used to with my friends... will the brevity of this encounter make it more important or less important? It's hard to say... only time can tell, and perhaps it won't tell either. But I can't help think now of all the people I met briefly, for a few moments or days or weeks, and wonder what those encounters did for me... even I am not sure, how could I expect anyone else to be?