PS:

Don't say "I told you so." I promise I will stop speaking to anyone who says "I told you so"!

:P

Abrupt end

Umm.. my "six-month Mongolian adventure" came to an abrupt end in 2 weeks. My cold turned out to be more severe than I had imagined: i was diagnosed with something that the doctors alternatively called "influenza" and "bronchitis" but finally settled upon as "bronchal pneumonia." A few hours in a hospital in Mongolia, being shunted from one room to another, being put through X-rays and injections and other tests and more injections (I received 5 injections in one day! my arm is so sore now!)... all the while without the slightest idea of what was going on because no one spoke English... scared me. Then, I was prescribed 3 more injections everyday for a week and way too many pills and tablets... realzing, too, that no one was being abel to translate correctly for me, and that I was therefore receiving very mixed-up directions about what medicines to take and how often, made me wish to jsut be in a hospital where someone spoke English. That, combined with stuff at home that I had wanted to go back because of, and the prospect of less-than-meaningful work in Mongolia clinched it: I am now back in New Delhi.

Of course, I left with some regrets. I was especially sorry to leave Miho, who has become a good friend and was very upset that the first English-speaking friend she had made in Mongolia was leaving so soon. And, of course, I was sorry not to have been able to finish... or even carry out largely... what I had begun at work: all those hours making lesson plans and finding the appropriate materials for different classes were used for just 2 days-- 8 classes, and I left Mongolia. And I hate going back on a commitment, so it was hard to tell the school that the kids were not going to have an English conversation teacher, after all.

But oh well. Health first. I could have handled being sick while alone in a foreign country (done that before!), but the mixed-up directions and the not knowing what the heck the doctors were doing to my body became too much. I have had enough bad experiences with health issues to warrant paranoia! I will see the doctor in New Delhi today, and I will take it from there...

And, after all, the trip wasn't a complete waste. It was much shorter than I had intended it to be, but that didnt make it meaningless. I did still live with and as the average Mongolian in Ulaanbaatar for 2 whole weeks-- eat the same greasy mutton as them, work the same long hours as them, shop in their grocery stores, learn to walk on ice in such a way as not to slip and fall too much, join them in small celebrations... and, in short, share this alien culture and lifestyle. It still feels like it was an intense, important experience, just not as long as I thought it would be.

2008 will clearly be very different from what I had imagined. But whether it will be better or worse is still an open question... and a decision I have to make.

First day of classes...

... has been overwhelming. Not bad-- not at all-- just overwhelming. Interestngly, the best (most fun) class I had was witha group of students who have been branded as "not bright" by the school. Yes, their English wasnt as fluent as some of the other classes, but they brought an earnestness to the class that surpassed all others. They were also incredibly willing to help each other understand the material and you could see the concentration on their faces as they tried to understand what I was saying. I felt like I was talking to real individuals who cared about what I was saying rather than just a balnk wall. Good feeling. They also seemed the class who most enjoyed my lesson... we had some good laughs together.

Other than that, I think the open-air ice-skating made my cold worse (yes, not very prudent, was that?)... so now Iam headed back for a nap. More tomorrow, perhaps.

I went out for lunch and a walk with Miho (my roommate) and Soko (one of the Mongolian teachers) this afternoon. I am not sure how this happened, but we somehow ended up ice-skating... umm, and the rink was open-air. FREEZING. But fun. Of course, not that I managed to go very far (or skate alone at all!), but I only fell once, and hey, that isn't any worse than a regular walk in the city for me! I did worry my toes were going to completely freeze, though, so if I ever do this again, must remember to wear more pairs of socks et al. Mike (Sasaki), I thought of you often, and wished you were here!

Not much more to tell, unless youwant to know how amusing it is to do laundry here... fill the machine with the shower, add the detergent and run it; then manually drain out all the water and soap suds, fill it with the shower again, and run it again to get the soap out; manually drain out all the water again; then, little by little transfer it to the other compartment and run th machine so it can wring the excess water out; finally, take out the clothes, and dry them on the hot water pipelines in the room. Quite a chore it becomes, but after my Mexican adevntures, any machine and ANY method of drying that lasts less than 3-4 days is a luxury. This summer gave me perspective.

Okay, I am heading home now. Tomorrow is a big day, and I need my rest tonight. More later...

Back again

Hello again! Sorry I disappeared for a few days-- have been down with a bad cold and was running a fever for a couple of days. Very annoying... I NEVER get fever; weird diseases, sign me up, but never fever... so of course I had to get it during my first week here in mongolia. But then again, what was I expecting with a 40 degree celsius change in weather overnight? Anyway, I feel better now, only a sore throat and sniffles. In a sense, I am glad it was during this week, which was ony lesson plan prepartion and basic acquaintance week, rather than in my frist week of lessons that I took unwell; if anything, it was a good reason not to have to spend too many meaningless hours inthe teachers' room!

In happier news, all my lesson plans got approved. The vice-principal even went so far as to tell all the other teachers how great my plans were and how they should all follow suit; of course, that isnt actually a compliment since she does not speak a word of English, and I can therefore only presume that she was impressed by my being the only teacher who submitted them by the deadline! Haha, I guess there are advantages to understanding absolutely nothing of conversations around you-- gives you added motivation to concentrate on your own work and get it in on time! So... if my classes don't work now, i will have only myself to blame. I am a bit nervous because I still dont know much about the students' level of English and nothing about their expectations of me. Will we be able to understand each other? Will I be able to teach them anything meaningful, or will I become just one more boring teacher whom they must pretend to respect? Will I be able to break, at least in my own classroom, some of the strict student-teacher hierarchies I so dislike, or will I just become the weird foreigner with her weirder ways? Only time will tell, and I can only do my best to teach them something and have fun in the process.

Other than that, I am getting better at "doing nothing"-- I actually got through a whole day of it yesterday, including another boring faculty meeting (no James, the semiotic reading of their actions failed to entertainme for more than 5 minutes or so!), without once feeling frustrated. Actually, these long hours at my desk are proving very beneficial to my relationship with my diary, as I end up writing there 2-3 times a day. So whether or not I do much else in terms of work, every last moment of my stay here is likely to be recorded in minute detail!

Except that I probably wont have quite somuch free time starting Monday. I am actually teaching 10, not 8, classes of 35 students each. I might also be teaching an extra class for students who wish to take the TOEFL exam, because there is absolutely no way to prepare them for it in 4 40-minute periods. And I will attempt to do an "English table" in the cafeteria at lunch 2 or 3 times a week. I think I will be glad of the work, although I am maxmizing my enjoyment of this last free weekend! I have spent all day today listening to my audiobook of "Sense and Sensibility," and I spent part of yesterday watching Friends on my computer. I know, I know, you think that's hardly the way to spend my free time in MONGOLIA, but don't judge me too harshly until you have lived for 10 days in a place where no one (literally, not one single person) speaks fluent English, where you must enunciate each word so clearly and speak so slowly that it gets completely tiring, and where the freezing weather makes going out a not-so-welcme proposition when you are just recovering from a fever!

Okay, that's a lot of pretty meaningless rambling. I'll go now. Keep writing-- you have no idea how happy your comments and emails make me! :)

Cooking a frozen egg, and other adventures...

So, as I was making lunch this afternoon, I realized that one egg had cracked during one of my many falls on the way home from the supermarket. Now, apparently, in -30 degree weather, a cracked egg doesnt spill but instead freezes. So when I broke this egg into the frying pan today, I found a very interesting substance-- egg white with icicles in it. Added to the other normal egg, it was edible, but very weird to cook (as one egg was cooking, the other was thawing!). I know, that's a strange story to share, but these are the moments that make my experiences in Mongolia unique!

Not much more to tell by way of news-- the computer in the teachers' room finally has internet, so I get to spend some time writing this blog right now on a break from work (Wendy, nothign exciting to look at, these computers-- it's the incredibly slow internet speed that sets them apart!). Other than that, it is just another day preparing lesson plans. Looks like I will have quite a bit of freedom after all... my 2 years of on-and-off tutoring at the Writing Center, and sepcially this semester's work with Dr. Williams' class, actually makes me the most experienced English teacher at this school! (no one else has more than a few months' teaching experience). Plus, i am the only one here who speaks the language, so I think they are content to let me be as long as I show them a basic plan and work towards the TOEFL amongst other things.

Still, it's hard. I am going to teach 8 classes of 35 students each; each class is broken up into 2 groups, so I am teaching 16 groups of students. I will only see each group once a week, and the term is only 8 weeks long (I am teachign 2 terms here). It's hard to know what to cover and what to leave out. Focus on academic English or everyday, spoken English? Focus on helping students speak about their experiences or on introducing them to American and British English through audio-visual materials? Those are all important to me, and I am not sure how to strike a balance amongst them. The Mongolian English textbooks are TERRIBLE and the foreign books they have here talk too much about British food and other things the kids probably couldn't care less about. I think I am going to be inventing teaching materials as I go along...

I guess I'll know in a couple of days...

Out in the City Center

So, today was my first day actually going into downtown Ulanbator, and I feel so much better for it. This may be a weird thing to say, but just walking around the city helped me sink my feet into it a little more, helped me feel like i am somewhere. Just walking from the dormitory to the school and back was starting to get a bt claustrophobic and to feel like no-man's land; in spending a few ours walking around and getting to know the city, I felt like I am beginning to appropriate it, make it mine. In the next few days, I will try uploading a few pictures I took of the city square and of myself dressed in a million layers and looking something like a koala.

First task in downtown UB wast buy a pair of trousers-- since "Monglian teachers don't wear jeans" and since Aditi wears jens more than anything else, Aditi needed to go shopping. One of the Mongolian teachers at the school who teaches Japanese but also speaks some English (ye, now you see what Imeant by no-man's land?) offered to take me to the indoor bazaar... not as freezing as the outdoor one, but still much cheaper than a departmental store. We walked around to the different stalls selling everything from socks to make-up to shoes untilwe came across a clothes' store. I picked a pair and asked if Icould try it; I was told "of course" and handed a towel to wrap around my waist so I could try them on right there (that seems to be the general rule in Mongolian markets). Umm, very weird. But thank god for a long coat and for wearing an extra layer of warm pants under my jeans! Fortunately, the first pair I tried fit well, and I did not need to put myself through that strange experience more than once!

Lunch was interesting-- my friend took me to a place called "Berlin Burger," and as thename probably suggests, their food was from nowhere in particular. Spaghetti with a Mongolian sauce, mutton burgers, all kinds of mixes. I had what I think is a fairly traditional Mongolian soup with a dumpling. The soup was swimming in grease-- reminded me a lot of many of the meals we ate in Mexico, except that this one was mutton. The dumpling helped a lot. I will need to come up with lots of light and quick dinner recipes-- lunch in the school cafeteria (and, it seems, Mongolian food in general) is so heavy because of all the mutton and the grease that I really need nice, light dinners. Yay for survival cooking.

Other than that, I am starting to feel more comfortable here. Last night, Miho and I were up past midnight, first having dinner, then watching "Friends," and then swapping stories and photographs. I also finsihed unpacking yesterday and wnt shoppig for the little things I needed to buy, and so now our apartment/ room (it's just one large room-- I like calling it an apartment!) has started feeling quite homey. Also, I was looking for a way to have regular internet access during the week because I needed that to stay connected to my English-speaking life (I use the computer from the principal's office, so it is okay on weekends when he is here but doing other things, but hard during the week or when he doesnt come in on the weekends). Mr. G (principal) just promised me a key to his office so that Miho and I can come here at night or on weknds and use the internet at leisure. Of course, we dont hav that much time at night;by the time we get home from school and finish dinner, it is already 8:30 or 9... but now that we have this possibility, we will probably be able to use it more. That's a relief.

Well, that is all for now. Tomorrow we start making lesson plans for this coming term, and I think I will be helping all the English teachers with their plans within th strcit frameworkthey have. So, it will be a busy week; I want to rest today. Back home now for nap time!

I can't believe I have been in Mongolia for 3 days already! Everything is still so new and so foreign, and yet so familiar. It's a very weird feeling.

Today was my first day outside the school. I have a crazy schedule-- start work at 8:15 in the morning and finish at 6 in the evening. So it's still dark and feezing when I walk here in the mornings and already dark when I head back to my room... no time to go out and explore a city. Today the other English teacher walked me to the nearby department store for provisions, so I had my first glimpse of Ulanbataar. Nothing really set it apart from jsut any other city for me... lots of tall buildings, left ver from the Soviet times, andnot much else.

Actually, wait, something else did set it apart: where else in the world would you find people complaining about the heat as they walk around in -20 degree weather? Oh and it had snowed this morning, and all the roads were still really icy; now, it is one thing to dart through moving traffic on Delhi roads (even that freaks me out a bit) but completely another to have to do it on such slippery roads. In the short 10 minute walk back to the school, I fell twice-- more amusing/ embarrassing than painful, but yes, I did take my clumsiness to a whole new level here.

What else can i tell? I am still struggling to come to terms with too many meaningless formalities that are a part of my life here. There are too many rules, man of which mena nothing but must be followed simply because they are rules. For example, no teacher may miss a teachers' conference; so yesterday, I had to sit through more than an hour long meeting conducted entirely in Mongolian, of which I didnt understand a word. This despite it already being 7 at night and me being a bit sick and just wanting to go rest... but there was no way to get out of it. Moments like that (and there are many of them) are incredibly isolating. Not that that should be news to any of you; I knew I would experience this even before I came here, but now that I am actually experiencing it, there are feelings at a whole newlevel that i cannot describe... but yes, it is frustrating. I'm trying to do a "semiotic analysis" of it all (oh, I miss you James!) and thereby laughing at it, but am also coming to a deep understanding of what it really means to be an outsider. Hopefully, once we actually get into the process of planning classes and once I start teaching, this outsiderness and the accompanying isolation won't be all I expereince!

In that respect, Miho (my roommate) is a godsend. As the only other foreign teacher who doesnt speak Mongolian (she teaches Japanese but also knows some English), she shares my frustrations. After a long day at work, it's good to go home with a friend and spend many hours talking as we prepare and eat dinner.

Oh, sometimes, though, there is also the amusing aspect of this isolation. Like some students have put up English quotes all over the school, intended I think to be inspiratinal... quotes on happiness, success, hard work, etc. but then there are some precious gems in there that someone obviously just didnt understand. Like "If the facts dont fit the theory, change the facts" and "If three have to keep a secret, two of them have to die." Every time I walk past those ones, I laugh to myself, aware that I am the only person in the whole place who can se that they are so funny, and that I cant explain that to others, no matter how hard I try.

Okay, I have to go now. Please keep writing-- it is so good to hear from you all right now. And Sarah NG, thanks for your lovely email! :)

So. I am here.

The journey to Mongolia was interesting, especially the 15-hour layover at Moscow. I don't know what I was thinking leaving the airport without a map or knowing a word of Russian-- I guess I had figured there would be some kind of tourist information desk either at the airport or at least at Red Square. WRONG. So, there I was outside the transit area at the airport, determined to get into the city but equally determined not to pay 1500 roubles to take a taxi to the city. Finally, I managed to get someone to tell me which bus goes to downtown Moscow (the airport is a bit outside the city)-- fortunately, the Russians use the same numerals despite the different script. Then, in what was admittedly rather scary, I took this bus to wherever it would take me, figuring I would get to Red Square from there. I had to change a bus, then a train, then walk eight blocks, but I did make it. best of all, I made it by asking for directions from nice old Russian women who did not speak a word of English; trust me, until you have received long, complicated directions from someone who does not speak your language and can only gesticulate wildly, you havent truly travelled! But I was proud of myself: I managed to take public transport to get to Red Square and back in 100 roubles instead of the 3000 I would have paid as taxi fare, and I did it without any major incident (okay, so i slipped and scraped my knee once, but you try chasing hurried old Russian women on icy streets because they are your only way of getting to your destination, and we'll see if you dont fall a couple of times too! :P).

Then, Mongolia. I was met at the airport by the high school principal, one English teacher and one Japanese teacher (who, it turns out, is my roommate). The moment I stepped out of the airport with them, i felt icicles form in my nostrils. I'm not kidding-- every time I step out into this -35 degree weather, everything inside my nose simply freezes; it's a sensation like none I have ever experienced! My roommate, Miho, and I share a lovely little studio apartment; there is no central heating, but we do have two radiators, so although it isnt warm and toasty, one's okay inside with a couple of sweaters and a hat. I'm not complaining; it could be SO much worse (we even have running hot water most of the time!). They did offer me my own room if Miho and I couldnt live together, but we both chose to share... I miss my private space, but I am glad to have an English-speaking person around.

Today was my first day of classes. Can't say much yet because this was only introductions, tomorrow will be the same, and next week, all the students have a holiday while the teachers prepare new lesson plans. Classes start in earnest after that. I have to admit to being a bit uncomfortable in this school; the high school prides itself on being "Japanese-style", which they take to mean high educational and achievement standards, but which also translates as too-strict hierarchies and sometimes ridiculous formalities as far as I am concerned. I'm struggling to come to terms with the way the students are ranked and segregated based on their achievement, the weird "thank you teacher, see you" that the students somehow manage to chant in perfect unison every time i leave the room, and the "teachers dont wear jeans" kind of attitudes amongst the staff. In some ways, it reminds me of high school n India, and now i wonder I got through that so well; in other ways, it is an even stricter and more rigid version of many of the things I even then thought ridiculous. Fortunately, as a foreign teacher, I have a little more freedom to design my own classes (for example, i do not need to follow the textboks they use), but only after preparing my lesson plans and having them approved will I really know how this term is going to turn out.

Well, that's all for now. I am using the computer in the principal's office since it is free right now, but I need to find a more regular and more reliable means of staying connected. Kep emailing me-- Mongolia is isolating, and I want my cheerleaders around! ;)

Leaving today

Okay, so it's real. I board my plane to Moscow tonight; then 15 hours in Russia. Tomorrow night, I board the Moscow- Ulanbataar flight. Provided that all goes well and no flight gets grounded or snowed in, within 48 hours I will be in the high school in Mongolia where I am going to spend the next 6 months.

Am I panicking? Not exactly; i don't think so. But I am finally not calm either. I am somewhere between excited and nervous, between "wow I am really doing this" and "what the heck am I getting into?" Mom's clearly nervous by now; poor mother-- the things we kids put her through! :)

Okay, leave soon and I still have to finish my packing and a bunch of last minute chores... which i should be doing right now. Here's to my last entry from my warm and sunny room in Delhi for the next 6 months! Keep in touch, and I will try to do the same... especially since I will probably have few people to talk to during my first few weeks in a country where no one speaks any of the three languages i am in, I expect to hear a lot from you all!

Take good care, and expect this blog to liven up a little now! :)

Men Can Stop Rape

It's impossible to be a woman in Delhi and not think about sexual violence, be it in the form of rape, eve-teasing, groping, and all that other stuff that any Delhi woman has dealt with at least once and usually more than that. What's amazing me recently is how little my guy friends know about what goes on in the lives of women, even their sisters or close friends. Yesterday, I was also amazed to realize that I was a bit uncomfortable talking to one of my closest guy friends about this. Both those things need to change. We have to talk.

Sometime ago, i had come across this website: www.mencanstoprape.com-- finally, a men's movement against sexual violence. I am posting from the website on this blog, and I also encourage you to go to the actual website. These FAQs are specifically about rape, but think about how they apply to the other forms of sexual violence as well-- forms that may not be as dramatic but that are part of the everyday life of most of us. Also, check out the link at the bottom of this page (to the Blank noise blog)-- this is an Indian movement against sexual violence on the streets. And next time you have a question, let's talk. We need Delhi to change, and we can only do it together.

Why should men care about sexual violence?


1. Men rape

The great majority of all sexually violent crimes are committed by males. Even when men are sexually victimized, other men are most often the perpetrators.

2. Men ARE raped

We don't like to think about it, and we don't like to talk about it, but the fact is that men can also be sexually victimized. Studies show that a staggering 10-20% of all males are sexually violated at some point in their lifetimes. Men are not immune to the epidemic of sexual violence, nor are male survivors safe from the stigma that society attaches to victims of rape. Male survivors are often disbelieved, accused of being gay, or blamed for their own victimization when they report an incident of sexual assault. Frequently, they respond, as do many female survivors, by remaining silent and suffering alone.

3. Rape confines men
When some men rape, and when 80% of those who are raped know the man who attacked them, it becomes virtually impossible to distinguish men who are safe from men who are dangerous, men who can be trusted from men who can't, men who will rape from men who won't. The result is a society with its guard up, where relationships with men are approached with fear and mistrust, where intimacy is limited by the constant threat of violence, and where all men are labeled "potential rapists."

4. Men know survivors

At some point in every man's life, someone close to him will likely disclose that they are a survivor of sexual violence and ask for help. Men must be prepared to respond with care, sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. Ignorance on the part of men about the situation of rape and its impact can only hinder the healing process and may even contribute to the survivor's feeling further victimized. A supportive male presence during a survivor's recovery, however, can be invaluable.

5. Men can stop rape
Rape is a choice men make to use sex as a weapon for power and control. For rape to stop, men who are violent must be empowered to make different choices. All men can play a vital role in this process by challenging rape supporting attitudes and behaviors and raising awareness about the damaging impact of sexual violence. Every time a man's voice joins those of women in speaking out against rape, the world becomes safer for us all.

Stopping Rape: What Men Can Do

All men can play a vital role in rape prevention. Here are a few of the ways:

• Be aware of language. Words are very powerful, especially when spoken by people with power over others. We live in a society in which words are often used to put women down, where calling a girl or woman a "bitch," "freak," "whore," "baby," or "dog" is common. Such language sends a message that females are less than fully human. When we see women as inferior, it becomes easier to treat them with less respect, disregard their rights, and ignore their well-being.
• Communicate. Sexual violence often goes hand in hand with poor communication. Our discomfort with talking honestly and openly about sex dramatically raises the risk of rape. By learning effective sexual communication -- stating your desires clearly, listening to your partner, and asking when the situation is unclear -- men make sex safer for themselves and others.
• Speak up. You will probably never see a rape in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don't find it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women's rights, let politicians know that you won't support them. Do anything but remain silent.
• Support survivors of rape. Rape will not be taken seriously until everyone knows how common it is. In the U.S. alone, more than one million women and girls are raped each year (Rape in America, 1992). By learning to sensitively support survivors in their lives, men can help both women and other men feel safer to speak out about being raped and let the world know how serious a problem rape is.
• Contribute your time and money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent violence against women. Rape crisis centers, domestic violence agencies, and men's anti-rape groups count on donations for their survival and always need volunteers to share the workload.
• Talk with women... about how the risk of being raped affects their daily lives; about how they want to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they think men can do to prevent sexual violence. If you're willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of rape and how to stop it.
• Talk with men... about how it feels to be seen as a potential rapist; about the fact that 10-20% of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetimes; about whether they know someone who's been raped. Learn about how sexual violence touches the lives of men and what we can do to stop it.
• Organize. Form your own organization of men focused on stopping sexual violence. Men's anti-rape groups are becoming more and more common around the country, especially on college campuses. If you have the time and the drive, it is a wonderful way to make a difference in your community.
• Work against other oppressions. Rape feeds off many other forms of prejudice -- including racism, homophobia, and religious discrimination. By speaking out against any beliefs and behaviors, including rape, that promote one group of people as superior to another and deny other groups their full humanity, you support everyone's equality.
• Don't ever have sex with anyone against their will! No matter what. Although statistics show most men never rape, the overwhelming majority of rapists are male. Make a promise to yourself to be a different kind of man -- one who values equality and whose strength is not used for hurting.

PS:

By this time next week, I will be in my room in Mongolia.

Yay!

Argh!

Brrr...

The Woman Who Said No: Antigone In India

The National School of Drama in Delhi is celebrating its 50th anniversary with a mega theater festival. Yesterday, I went to see their adaptation of Antigone at the Kamaani auditorium. Beyond knowing that the play was about a woman who dies in her attempt/ wish to bury her brother, I wasn't familiar with the original play, so I probably missed some nuances of the adaptation. Still, it was an intense, interesting evening.

Easily the most powerful part of the night was the conversation between Creon and Antigone once Antigone has been discovered; Naseeruddin Shah and Ratna Pathak Shah, who played Creon and Antigone respectively, really brought that scene alive. I can still hear Antigone's taunt: I don't have to listen to you, because you said "yes" (to the crown, the power, and the responsibility of kingship) and I am saying "no." Then, later: I am not here to understand; I am here to say no and die. Creon's rejoinder that sometimes saying "no" is a lot easier than saying "yes" was equally powerful. Both set me thinking.

Although the cast was fully Indian, the play was not explicitly adapted into the Indian context (it was still set in the context that Sophocles put it in). Yet, the body language, mannerisms, and accents made it, for me, an Indian play. The way the guards treated, tormented, and groped Antigone before they realized who she was really hit home. I don't know if the actors intended it that way, but the enactment definitely reminded me of Indian cops, famous for their mistreatment of women. That particular scene, if stripped from the rest of the play, could have been taken from one of countless Hindi movies where the protagonist is brave/ stupid enough to go to the police station alone.

And, of course, that brought me back to the subject of many of my recent reflections: what it means to be a young woman in India. I spent yesterday morning with a close friend from high school, arguing about the position of women in Indian society today. He maintains that men and women are equal in the "younger generation," as is represented by the Business-school gender ratio of 1:1. I maintain that business school ratios do not reflect society in general. A recent "Hindustan Times" survey revealed that only 15% of urban middle-class women in India are employed; and we haven't even begun talking about different pay packages and the like. Another statistic that should probably have prepared me for the fact that guys are largely ignorant of what goes on in women's lives: almost 80% of interviewed men claimed to have at some point been a part of a group that eve-teased or molested a woman, but only about 20% say that a woman friend, family member, or acquaintance of theirs has ever been eve-teased or molested. You have to wonder: who do they think these women are whom they molest?

I went out to lunch with a different friend, and after we had eaten, we decided to sit outside for a while so she could smoke. An old man came up to us, asking for money. We declined; he persisted, blessing us with "May you have many children." When we continued to ignore him, his blessings became more insistent: "May you have sons! Many sons!" At this point, she and I could hardly suppress our smiles; once he left, we burst out laughing and asked each other why we would give money in the wish of having sons, then have to spend so much money to bring those sons up; give us daughters any day! But jokes aside, that little incident was a hauntingly perfect response to the morning's conversations.

Antigone made me think about what it would mean to say no. To say no to a system that I think is, in her words, vile. She chose a melodramatic, tragic end, but perhaps her position was only an exaggeration to prove a point. At least she chose; how many people live and die without ever choosing? Creon made me wonder what it means to say yes to something I know is necessary even if it is difficult. To do things that are unpleasant to me, even things that I know I do not believe in, in order to accomplish what I believe to be a larger good. "Someone had to say yes," he said. True. In subtler, less dramatic ways, Antigone and Creon both live in me... in all of us, probably.

That scene between Creon and Antigone also reminded me of the adage: You can't hate someone when you know their story. Until that point, Creon is the bad guy, the villain of the play. After that conversation he becomes the guy you feel sorriest for. Amazing what a story can do.

Wow, you read this far??? Did you really have nothing better to do? ;)

The Guilt of an English Teacher

Here you go, James: my first piece of serious reflection on this job, written by Mykel Board who also teaches English in Mongolia. He expresses many of my doubts, questions, and answers about what I am getting into... click the title "Guilt of an English teacher" to check it out!

Yesterday, I woke up to lots of emails in my inbox, literally from all over the world. English, Hindi, Spanish jumbled together in my head as i read one friend's news after another's. I also received a beautiful email from Sarah W about the position of a writer in society... Sarah's writing always makes me feel so understood, it's magical. As the day went on, I received two phone calls from high school friends whom I hadn't been able to get in touch with because they had moved out of the city and I didn't have their new cell numbers. Turns out one has moved back to Delhi and the other will probably be moving back in June, i.e. at least two, and possibly four or five, of my close friends from high school will be in Delhi when I return from Mongolia; I will not return home to a city of strangers. All of that made my day: I felt re-connected to all my different worlds (SUA, Delhi, Mexico and Argentina), and so I felt "at home."

Today, I woke up with a different sense... not a bad one, just a different one. I felt placeless. No, I did not feel the absence of friends from other places: they belong to such a different world that I cannot wish for them to be here; if they were here, my life would simply feel weird and not make any sense. Yet, I missed their presence. I missed the jokes only they would understand, the walks to Peace Lake, the frantic nights studying at the Cup... all the things that I could only do with them, and there, not here. It was a strange feeling, this being unable to wish for them to be here yet missing them there... but I guess I should get used to it because I am defining the next stage of my life through similar processes, aren't I? And it isn't a bad feeling; just strange.

For some reason, these three quotes from a book I was reading ("Write where you are"), looking for exercises to do with my students, made me feel normal again. I can't name the connection, but I hope you find it.

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."
-- Andre Gide

"I've no idea where ideas come from, and I hope I never find out; it would spoil the excitement for me if it turned out I just have a funny little wrinkle on the surface of my brain which makes me think about invisible train platforms."
-- JK Rowling

"You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose"
-- Dr Seuss

cold feet. literally.

Delhi is freezing! Temperatures dropped into the mid 30s (about 3 degrees celsius) the last few days, quite a bit lower than normal. And, of course, we arent prepared for that... I'm not even talking about lack of heating and hot water-- i can live with that. But I was dumb to take an autorickshaw to Omar's place and back yesterday (for those who dont know what it is, think open-air cab on a road that cuts right through one of the few remaining jungles in Delhi... brrr). I was fine at the time, but guess what I discovered when I got home? I have chilblains on my right foot... argh! I had forgotten how susceptible I am to this annoying thing... if anyone knows any homeopathic/ ayurvedic/ naturopathic remedy that helps, let me know!

I can't handle Delhi winters, and i am going to Mongolia?

Upside: Mongolian government makes sure all homes are heated. Downside: frequent power cuts make sure that they freeze anyway. Or so blogs tell me.

Oh wow, this really will be an adventure, wont it?