Philosophizing about milkshakes!

A few weeks ago, a friend/ colleague mentioned that she started journaling after reading a friend's essay after the death of a common friend-- an essay in which he mentioned not being able to reconcile himself to the fact that, slowly, the memories would fade. She started writing with the hope of preventing that, of holding on to those memories.

I thought that was a beautiful reason to journal, and possibly a pretty good approximation of why I blog, although I could never articulate it that well. I don't want my memories to fade.

Perhaps that's why I'm paranoid about feeling far away from Argentina, from mexico, from the USA. From being a student, from being a volunteer, from being a dorm resident. All of those expereinces have meant so much, and now I'm afraid the memories will fade. And those experiences have been such a crucial part of me that I don't know who I would be if those memories did fade.

But then again, I realize, in little ways, how those experiences are an intrinsic part of who I am now. I thought of this as I drank my smoothie/ milk shake this mornign before leaving for work... I have gotten fond enough of my banana mocha smoothies to have 2 glasses of mile everyday just for that! As I was sipping it, I suddenly realized that this was Argentina and Mexico City speaking. Smoothies-- licuados-- are entirely Argentina and Mexico City for me. I'd never have gone near a milkshake if I hadnt spent all those hours in Buenos Aires cafes and gotten bored of coffee... or if Chris hadn't dragged me to gay bars where I could only have alcohol (which I don't drink!) or milkshakes! I also remembered the lovely little juice and milkshake (and if you request, fruit salad) shop near Lupita's house in Mexico City. How many mornings I stopped by there to get a quick milkshake, in a plastic bag no less!, to carry with me on the bus.

And then, of course, there was Go Bananas, a wonderful smoothie at the Neighborhood Cup, a cafe near college where I spent at least half and possibly more of my time. Earlier it had been just banana-chocolate smoothie, the Cup threw in the coffee that made it perfect!

So now, every morning, as I sip my banana mocha smoothie staring out at the beautiful Gulmohar outside my tree, I am all of my identities rolled into one.

It's both, startling and beautiful, to realize how something that little, that everyday, carries a little bit of all my worlds